When My Anxiety Started

What exactly is anxiety?

1. A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
2. Desire to do something, typically accompanied by unease.

I have been dealing with anxiety since I was a young child. My earliest attack I was about 6 or so. When I was younger my parents divorced, and growing up for me was hell. It had its good times, but most were bad times. I am slowly learning how to cope and deal with the issues from my childhood. It has been very hard for me to open up to others about my childhood. However, I know I can not completely heal if I don’t open up, and get these things off my chest.

I know I will always have anxiety, and I will have to learn to live life with my problems. However, I also know that I can find ways to help relax myself when anxiety kicks in.

On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst, I would have to say my anxiety most times is a 10. If I can catch my anxiety before it strikes, I can reduce the severity of the attack. My anxiety attacks include racing heart, severe stomach cramps, diarrhea, hot and cold flashes, and I also get to the point where I feel as if I will pass out. These attacks are no fun!

I knew I had an anxiety issue, however, I didn’t know how bad it was until I was seen by a doctor. I explained certain things that trigger my attacks, and how intense my attacks are when I have them. I was then diagnosed with Social Phobia.

What is Social Phobia?

Social Anxiety Disorder is a type of social phobia characterized by a fear of being negatively judged by others or a fear of public embarrassment due to impulsive actions. This includes feelings such as stage fright, a fear of intimacy, and a fear of humiliation. This disorder can cause people to avoid public situations and human contact to the point that normal life is rendered impossible.

This is only a small part of my anxiety. However, these situations cause me to have the worse attacks. I also have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. This disorder was caused many years ago when my brother passed. However, I never really learned how to deal with things. One of my biggest fears in life is not myself dying, however, it is our home catching fire and bad things happening. The reason I fear this, is because in 1988 we lost my brother due to a house fire.

I am hoping by opening up on here about the issues I have had to overcome, and the situations I am dealing with now, it will help me better control my anxiety, and help me with my depression. I am also hoping to help others with their demons.